The Price of Admiralty
by Grav
Summary: They never meant for the ships to act like people
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is for triplesnap, who wanted to know why there is no _Samantha Carter_ in the Asgard Fleet.

Thanks to eldanna for the beta. Actually, "beta" probably isn't a strong enough term for her contribution to this story. It's probably verging on co-author.

Spoilers: er…all the Asgard episodes.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Still. Sigh…Also, the title is taken from a Rudyard Kipling poem called "The Song of the Dead".

Rating: Kid-Friendly

Summary: They didn't mean for ships to act like people.

------

**The Price of Admiralty**

The _Teal'c_ had stood nobly in defense of Halla until the final moments. It was known well by all the Asgard as soon as the first Replicator ships appeared in orbit that the fight for Halla would be fought in vain. The Asgard people were numerous and the Replicators had mowed them down on previous incursions, and they all knew that a similar fate would befall them as their enemies lit the sky on fire.

But the _Teal'c_ took to the air and fired his guns at the coming horde of Replicator ships and did not back down even though it was assured that there would be no victory. The ship seemed determined to persevere until the last, willing and ready to give itself in sacrifice even if only a handful of Replicators went down with him.

The crew was confused at this determination as the ship himself fought with everything it had to give and then more still. The crew strengthened their own resolve to the fight; and it could perhaps be said that the battle would have been lost far sooner had it not been for the resolve of one ship.

Thor was privately impressed by the whole thing and contemplated building a _Teal'c II_.

------

Everyone knew the fate of the _Jack O'Neill_. How he had made his last flight in sacrifice, allowing the Replicators to board him and then self-destructing to save the day.

What was not so well known was the extent to which the _Jack O'Neill_ had annoyed every Asgard who attempted any kind of work on him. The _O'Neill_ was a new ship, and the fight with the Replicators meant that every aspect of him had to be designed like nothing the Asgard had ever tried before. And _O'Neill_ resisted every step of the way.

Always, it seemed _O'Neill _wanted it to be simpler. The ship designs were theoretically sound. They should work. But some kind of barrier existed between the Asgard and their project and it kept pretending that it didn't understand. Finally the engineers made a break through and discovered that if they packaged the schematics and coding into small enough pieces, the ship would operate in a way that satisfied them. As long as _The O'Neill _thought he had the upper hand, he was quite willing to cooperate.

Thor was privately amused, but for the sake of his crew he pretended that he wasn't.

------

Thor had never intended for the _Daniel Jackson_ to be anything other than a research vessel. To name a combat ship after a scientist seemed distasteful at best and irony at worst. Thor had great respect for Daniel's love of history, despite having written some of it himself, and chose to honour his friend in a way the thought was appropriate.

When the plan involving the destruction of the Replicators in a black hole did not work entirely as planned, Thor had a moment of reconsidered whether it would not have been better to have included weapons on ship…just in case. Even as a solely defensive ship it was useless to protect against the machines.

However, Thor was not at all surprised when, in the end, it was because of the _Daniel Jackson_ that the homeworld of Orilla was saved. Armed or not, he had always thought that Daniel Jackson had been underestimated one too many times.

------

Thor never could bring himself to name the ship _Samantha Carter_, after the disaster and destruction that had been the doom of all the others.

But sometimes he thought of her as Sam.

------

**finis**

GravityNotIncluded, January 12, 2007


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This is for triplesnap, who wanted to know why there is no _Samantha Carter_ in the Asgard Fleet. The first story I tried just wasn't long enough, but I liked it, so she also gets a little bonus!

Spoilers: None really…

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: Kid-Friendly

Summary: In which Shakespeare is revealed to not hold up in all parts of the Universe.

------

"Admit it, Carter. You're jealous." Jack said, absently throwing sticks into the fire in front of him. Camping off-world in un-life-threatening situations was always a relief for him and somehow made the whole rock survey thing more palatable.

"I am not jealous." Sam insisted. "For all we know, it isn't customary for the Asgard to name ships after women."

"Now you're just making things up."

"She has a point, Jack." Daniel said, rummaging for more Kleenex. "On Earth we only name ships after women."

"Are not the Asgard asexual beings?" Teal'c asked, setting down a load of wood and taking a seat beside Daniel.

"From what we've seen." Sam agreed.

"Then why should it matter what they name their ships?"

"See! I told you." Jack looked triumphantly across the flames.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Look, they haven't named a ship after me…maybe they got tired of Thor naming things all the time and let someone else have a turn."

"He's supreme commander, Carter. I think they let him do whatever he wants."

"Well he hasn't exactly had an easy time lately." Sam pointed out. "Maybe he's taking a leave of absence or something."

"Carter, we all got ships. You didn't. You're jealous. It's okay!"

"Well it's not like your ships all met with rosy ends, is it?" Sam asked pointedly. "Maybe they gave up because it was bad karma."

"That's probably it." Daniel said, blowing his nose loudly.

Sam looked across the fire at him and Daniel ducked away without making eye contact.

"You know something." She accused him.

"I…know a lot of things, Sam." He dodged. "That's why they keep me around."

"No no no, you know why there isn't a ship."

"Really, Sam, I don't."

"You do, and you are going to tell me."

"Sam, I – " Daniel looked helplessly at Jack, but the Colonel was enjoying the show far too much to help him out.

"Daniel!"

"It's a swear word!"

"What?"

"It's…your name. In Asgard. It's a bad word."

"Thor says it all the time." Sam protested.

"No, Thor says 'Captain' or 'Major' all the time." Daniel corrected. "And when he does call you by your name, it is never when anyone else can hear him."

"I…I…my name is a swear word."

"Well…it's just really rude." Daniel admitted. "And it related to certain…proclivities that – "

"Daniel, I don't want to know."

"Good."

"I would like to know!" Jack said loudly.

"Perhaps you should ask Thor the next time he beams you aboard his vessel." Teal'c suggested.

"My name is a swear word and I don't get a ship."

"It's okay, Carter." Jack said. "Just because your name is rude in cultures that save our butts occasionally is no reason to be ashamed of your name."

"I'm not, sir." Sam snapped. "It's just a little weird."

"Perhaps this would be a good time to tell you what 'Jack' means in the language spoken by the Jaffa."

------

**finis**

AN: Hey, Teal'c always calls him O'Neill! Three for the price of one.

GravityNotIncluded, January 2007


End file.
